Your medical safety net has a secret expiry date
You believe, perhaps because it is easier to sleep at night that way, that the institutions you entrust with your body are as permanent as the changes they make to it. When you sign a consent form, you aren’t just agreeing to a procedure; you are entering into a silent contract of witness.
You assume that if the graft fails, if the scar widens, or if the hairline begins to migrate in a way that defies the geometry of your youth, there will be a door to knock on. You imagine a filing cabinet-physical or digital, it doesn’t matter-where your name exists in a folder, tethered to a date and a result. You assume that accountability has an address.
But what if the address is a lie?
I spent this morning testing every pen in the junk drawer, looking for the one that wouldn’t lie to me about having ink. It is a specific, low-level grief to find a tool that has stopped performing its only function while still looking perfectly capable on the outside.
Fourteen pens were discarded before a scratched ballpoint finally surrendered a streak of blue. I thought of Paul while I was doing it. Paul is a man I met recently who spent believing he had a medical safety net, only to find out he was holding a pen