I told a woman to keep sitting. I told the woman that her fear was just a cloud. I said the cloud would pass if she stayed still. I was wrong. The woman had a history of trauma. The trauma was not a cloud. The trauma was a fire.

The sitting made the fire grow. I thought the technique was the answer. I did not look at the person. I did not look at the risk. I gave the advice because the advice was easy to give. I gave the advice because the books said the advice was good.

The books were wrong. I was wrong. The woman left the room. She did not come back. I learned that silence is not always safe. I learned that the warning is more important than the promise.

The Weight of Unchecked Hope

I tried to explain cryptocurrency to my brother last year. I told my brother that the system was the future. I said the system would fix the money. I spoke about the ledger. I spoke about the chain. I was wrong about the timing. I was wrong about the safety.

I saw the market fall. I saw the people lose their savings. I felt the weight of my words. My words had no caution. My words only had hope.

I realized that people bury the bad news. People bury the bad news because the bad news stops the movement. The movement needs the money. The money needs the hope.

The Search for Survival

Hannah sits at her desk. Hannah types “when should you not” into the search bar. The search bar is white. The search bar is wide. The search bar tries to guess her mind. The search bar suggests “when should you not eat grapefruit.”

Hannah does not care about grapefruit. Hannah has a bottle of extract on her desk. The extract is green. The extract is from a plant. The website for the extract says the extract will change her life. The website has pictures of suns. The website has pictures of smiling people.

Hannah has a heart condition. Hannah takes medicine for her heart. Hannah wants to know if the extract will stop her heart. Hannah scrolls down the page. The first page is full of ads. The ads say “Buy Now.” The ads say “Top Rated.”

The second page is full of blogs. The blogs have titles like “Five Reasons to Love This Plant.” The blogs have titles like “How I Found Peace.” Hannah clicks a link. The link takes her to a long article. The article has four thousand words.

Hannah reads the words. The words are about history. The words are about energy. The words are about light. Hannah looks for the word “heart.” Hannah looks for the word “medicine.” Hannah does not find the words. The information is not there.

The information is missing because the information ends the sale. A writer wrote the article. A company paid the writer. The company wants Hannah to buy the extract. If the writer says the extract is dangerous, Hannah will not buy the extract.

If Hannah does not buy the extract, the company loses money. The company tells the writer to focus on the joy. The company tells the writer to focus on the light. The writer hides the darkness at the bottom of the page. The writer hides the darkness in a small font.

The writer uses words that are hard to read. This is the architecture of the search. The search engine wants to show what people like. People like to feel good. People like to buy things. People do not like to feel afraid.

A Store masquerading as a Library

The algorithm sees that people click the “Buy Now” button. The algorithm shows the button to more people. The algorithm sees that people close the page when they see a warning. The algorithm thinks the page is bad. The algorithm moves the page to the back.

The system is built to hide the very thing that keeps Hannah alive. I used to think that the internet was a library. I was wrong. A library has books that tell the truth even when the truth is boring. A library has books that tell the truth even when the truth is scary.

The internet is a store. The store has lights. The store has music. The store wants you to stay. The store wants you to take the product to the counter. If you ask the store clerk if the product will hurt you, the clerk looks away. The clerk points to the sign. The sign says “Best Seller.” The sign is not an answer.

I looked at the way plants are sold now. People call the plants “tools.” People call the plants “medicine.” This is true. But medicine has a dose. Medicine has a side effect. Medicine has a reason to say no.

I spent three years studying the way the mind reacts to silence. I found that the mind needs a fence. The fence is the warning. Without the fence, the mind wanders into the woods. The woods are dark. The woods have holes.

A good guide points to the holes first. A good guide does not talk about the view until the boots are laced. I found a group that does not follow the store rules. The group is called

Entheoplants.

The group talks about the plants. The group talks about the history. But the group also talks about the risk. The group puts the risk in the front. They talk about the “set.” They talk about the “setting.” They talk about the way the body reacts.

They do not bury the “no” at the bottom of the page. They lead with the “no” so the “yes” has meaning.

Hannah is still scrolling. She is on page four of the search results. She finds a forum. The forum is old. The forum has a black background. The text is grey. A person on the forum wrote a post in 2012.

The person said they took the extract. The person said their heart started to race. The person said they went to the hospital. The person said they were taking the same medicine as Hannah. Hannah stops scrolling. Her hand is shaking.

She puts the green bottle in the drawer. She closes the drawer. The drawer makes a clicking sound. Hannah is safe. Hannah is safe because she looked for the “no.” She had to work hard to find the “no.”

I Was the Algorithm

She had to fight the search engine. She had to fight the ads. She had to fight the blogs. The “no” was a secret. It should not be a secret. Safety should be the loudest word on the page. We have built a world where the truth is a tax on the sale.

We have built a world where the caution is a bug in the code. I think about the woman in my meditation class. I think about her often. I think about the look in her eyes when she stood up. She was looking for a way out.

“I was the algorithm. I was the ‘Buy Now’ button. I was the blog post about peace. I did not want to see the fire. I wanted to see the cloud.”

– Victor, Mindfulness Instructor

I learned that my job is to see the fire. My job is to say “do not sit.” My job is to say “go for a walk.” My job is to say “this is not for you.”

There are 7,000 plants that can heal. There are 7,000 plants that can hurt. The difference is the information. The information is the most valuable thing we have. But the information has no price. You cannot sell a warning.

You can only give a warning. Because you cannot sell a warning, the market ignores the warning. The market wants the product. The market wants the transaction. We must look for the people who do not want the transaction.

The warning is the only word on the label that does not want your money.

I tell my students now to look for the “no.” I tell them to look for the person who tells them to stop. If a teacher says there is no risk, the teacher is lying. If a website says there are no side effects, the website is lying.

If a friend says the plant is for everyone, the friend is wrong. Nothing is for everyone. Water can drown a man. Sun can burn a man. The truth is in the limit. The truth is in the edge.

Building New Systems

We must build new ways to find the “no.” We must build systems that reward the caution. We must value the silence that comes from safety, not the silence that comes from fear. I watch the screen. I see the ads. I see the promises.

I think of Hannah. I hope Hannah keeps the drawer closed. I hope Hannah finds the groups that lead with the “no.” I hope we all find the “no” before we need it. The “no” is the only thing that makes the “yes” real.

I am a mindfulness instructor. My name is Victor. I have made many mistakes. I have told people to sit when they should have run. I have told people to hold on when they should have let go.

I am learning to be a guide who points to the holes. I am learning to be a person who values the warning. The warning is not the end of the journey. The warning is the beginning of the path. The path is long. The path is hard.

The path is better when you know where the fire is. I look at the search bar. It is still empty. It is still waiting for a word. I type “safety.” The suggestions appear. They are all about cars. They are all about locks. None of them are about the truth.

I close the window. I sit in the chair. The room is quiet. The quiet is good because I know why I am here. I am here because I chose to be here. I am here because I checked the fence.

The fence is strong. The fence is high.

I am safe. I am finally safe.